How do I talk to kids about divorce?

Concerns & risks

You were trying to figure out how to tell your kids about the divorce, and you're dreading the conversation.

Kids feel scared.

Causes & evidence

Tell them together, simply and reassuringly.

What to do

1. Tell them together.
2. Reassure it's not their fault.
3. Keep routines.

Common mistakes: Common mistakes: blaming each other in front of the kids. Tell them together if possible. Keep the message simple and honest for their age. Reassure them it's not their fault and both parents love them. Plan the talk ahead of time with your co-parent. Tell kids what will change and what will stay the same, like their school and friends. Let them ask questions and share feelings, even anger or sadness. Keep routines steady. Watch for changes in behavior, sleep or school performance. Avoid sharing adult details about the reasons. Remind them often that they're loved. A school counselor or family therapist can help kids adjust. Don't ask kids to choose sides.

Speed Man tip: Watch for big feelings. Calm conflict: conflict communication.

Wrap-up: Together. Not their fault. Routine.