Is my relationship healthy?

Concerns & risks

You were trying to figure out whether your relationship is good for you, but every time a friend asks how things are, you aren't sure what to say.

It's hard to see clearly from inside.

Causes & evidence

Healthy relationships involve respect, trust, honesty and communication. See healthy relationship signs.

What to do

1. Ask: do I feel respected and safe?
2. Can I spend time with friends freely?
3. Can we disagree without fear?

Common mistakes: Common mistakes: comparing your relationship to movies or social media, or judging it only by the good days. A useful check is how you feel most of the time: respected, safe, free to see friends and have your own opinions. Healthy couples still argue, but they listen, apologize and repair. Notice whether you can disagree without fear, and whether both of you make decisions together. Write down a few recent moments that felt good and a few that felt bad, and look for patterns. Talk to someone you trust outside the relationship for another view. If you feel afraid, controlled, or pressured, take that seriously; the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788) offers free, confidential support, and you don't have to be sure it's abuse to call.

Speed Man tip: Trust your gut. If you feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233).

Wrap-up: Respect. Trust. Safety.