What do I do when my toddler hits?

Concerns & risks

You were trying to enjoy a playdate, but your toddler hit another child, and you felt mortified.

Hitting worries parents.

Causes & evidence

Calm, consistent responses help. See toddler tantrums.

What to do

1. Stop it calmly.
2. Remove them briefly.
3. Teach words for feelings.

Common mistakes: Common mistakes: hitting or yelling as punishment, which models aggression. Stop the hitting calmly and firmly: 'I won't let you hit.' Move your child away briefly. Check on the other child. Once calm, help your child name their feeling and show other ways to express it, like stomping feet or using words. Watch for triggers like tiredness or crowded spaces. Praise gentle play. Hitting is common for toddlers who don't have the words yet for big feelings. Teach phrases like 'Stop' or 'My turn.' Supervise closely during play with others, and step in early when you see frustration growing. Read books about feelings together. Stay consistent so your child learns what happens each time. Talk to your pediatrician if aggression is frequent or getting worse, or if you're worried about development.

Speed Man tip: Praise gentle play.

Wrap-up: Stop. Remove. Teach.